| Sir Lionel! | 
| Do you recall the other night | 
| That I distinctly said you might | 
| Serve as my escort at the next town fair? | 
| Well, I’m afraid there’s someone who | 
| I must invite in place of you | 
| Someone who plainly is beyond compare | 
| That Frenchman’s power is more tremendous | 
| Than I have e’er seen anywhere | 
| And when a man is that stupendous | 
| He, by right, should take me to the fair | 
| Your majesty, let me tilt with him and smite him! | 
| Don’t refuse me so abruptly, I implore! | 
| Oh, give me the opportunity to fight him | 
| And Gaul will be divided once more! | 
| You will bash and thrash him? | 
| I’ll smash and mash him | 
| You’ll give him trouble? | 
| He will be rubble | 
| A mighty whack? | 
| His skull will crack | 
| Well… | 
| Then you may take me to the fair | 
| If you do all the things you promise | 
| In fact, my heart would break should you not take me to the fair | 
| Sir Sagramore! | 
| I have some rather painful news | 
| Relative to the subject who’s | 
| To be beside me at the next court ball | 
| You were the chosen one, I know | 
| But as tradition it should go | 
| To the unquestioned champion in the hall | 
| And I’m convinced that splendid Frenchman | 
| Can easily conquer one and all | 
| And besting all our local henchmen | 
| He should sit beside me at the ball | 
| I beg of you, ma’am, withhold your invitation | 
| I swear to you this challenge will be met | 
| And when I have finished up the operation | 
| I’ll serve him to your highness en brochette! | 
| You’ll pierce right through him? | 
| I’ll barbecue him! | 
| A wicked thrust? | 
| 'Twill be dust to dust! | 
| From fore to aft? | 
| He’ll feel a draft! | 
| Well then… | 
| You may sit by me at the ball | 
| If you demolish him in battle | 
| In fact, I know I’d cry were you not by me at the ball | 
| Sir Dinadan! | 
| Didn’t I promise that you may | 
| Guide me to London on the day | 
| That I go up to judge the cattle show? | 
| As it is quite a nasty ride | 
| There must be someone at my side | 
| Who’ll be defending me from beast and foe | 
| So when I choose whom I prefer go | 
| I take the strongest knight I know | 
| And young du Lac seems strongest, ergo | 
| He should take me to the cattle show | 
| Your Majesty can’t believe this blustering prattle | 
| Let him prove it with a sword or lance instead! | 
| I promise you, when I’ve done this Gaul in battle | 
| His shoulders will be lonesome for his head! | 
| You’ll disconnect him? | 
| I’ll vivisect him | 
| You’ll open-wide him? | 
| I’ll subdivide him | 
| Oh, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear | 
| Then you may guide me to the show | 
| If you can carry out your program | 
| In fact, I’d grieve inside should you not guide me to the show | 
| Milady, we shall put an end to | 
| That Galic bag of noise and nerve | 
| When we do all that we intend to | 
| He’ll be a plate of French hors d’ouvres! | 
| I do applaud your noble goals | 
| Now let us see if you achieve them | 
| And if you do, then you will be the three | 
| Who will go to the ball, to the show | 
| And take me to the fair |