| Once I read a book
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| And this is what it said
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| «If your music has a beat
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| Then you’re gonna wind up dead.»
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| It doesn’t really matter
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| If it’s CHRISTIAN or not
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| If it’s syncopated rhythm
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| Then your soul is gonna rot!
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| And this book was called
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| «HA, You’re gonna BURN!»
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| And in the second chapter
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| I went on to learn…
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| Take two houseplants
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| And put 'em to the test
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| Set 'em both in front of speakers
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| To let the music do the rest
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| First one you play Mozart
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| Or something lovely like that
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| Second one you play that Petra or that Megadeth!
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| Doesn’t really matter WHAT kinda rock it is
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| So I took my two houseplants
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| And I put them to the test
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| Set 'em both in front of speakers
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| To let the music do the rest
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| I powered up my Pioneers to let the music roar
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| But twenty minutes later, someone’s knocking at my door
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| I opened up my door
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| And there my neighbor stood
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| He said, «Man, I’d like to get some sleep
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| If you think I could.»
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| I said, «Man, can’t you see here
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| I have got this moral dilemma I have got to get clear
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| He said, «What kind of moral dilemma can you have at this time of night
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| That could make me so angry I JUST WANNA FIGHT!»
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| Sorry
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| So I pointed to the page
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| In that opened book
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| That had a picture of a potted plant, and I said
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| «Go have a look.»
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| And he read:
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| Take two houseplants
|
| And put 'em to the test
|
| Set 'em both in front of speakers
|
| To let the music do the rest
|
| First one you play Mozart
|
| Or something lovely like that
|
| Second one you play that Petra or that Megadeth!
|
| Doesn’t really matter WHAT kinda rock it is
|
| «First of all,» he said
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| «That's Wagner that you’re playin'
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| I’ve never heard of Petra
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| And isn’t Megadeth all dead?»
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| And secondly, emphatically
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| He asked me, «What's the sense
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| Of hanging out with houseplants
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| When, hey, I live right across the fence?»
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| And I thought to myself
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| Y’know, that’s a good point
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| So I took my two houseplants
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| And I put 'em both back outside
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| And me and my neighbor
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| Well, we went out for a ride
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| We talked about all the things
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| That really matter most
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| Like life n' love n' happiness
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| And then the Holy Ghost."
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| Now my two houseplants
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| Can sit out in the sun
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| And as for my neighbor
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| Well, our friendship has become
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| A meaningful relationship
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| That’s headed straight to heaven
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| But as for now
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| We like to sit around and listen to
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| Audio Adrenaline, CRANKED TO ELEVEN! |