| You booked the night train for a reason | 
| So you could sit there in this hurt | 
| Bustling crowds or silent sleepers | 
| You're not sure which is worse | 
| Because I dropped your hand while dancing | 
| Left you out there standing | 
| Crestfallen on the landing | 
| Champagne problems | 
| Your mom's ring in your pocket | 
| My picture in your wallet | 
| Your heart was glass, I dropped it | 
| Champagne problems | 
| You told your family for a reason | 
| You couldn't keep it in | 
| Your sister splashed out on the bottle | 
| Now no one's celebrating | 
| Dom Pérignon, you brought it | 
| No crowd of friends applauded | 
| Your hometown skeptics called it | 
| Champagne problems | 
| You had a speech, you're speechless | 
| Love slipped beyond your reaches | 
| And I couldn't give a reason | 
| Champagne problems | 
| Your Midas touch on the Chevy door | 
| November flush and your flannel cure | 
| "This dorm was once a madhouse" | 
| I made a joke, "Well, it's made for me" | 
| How evergreen, our group of friends | 
| Don't think we'll say that word again | 
| And soon they'll have the nerve to deck the halls | 
| That we once walked through | 
| One for the money, two for the show | 
| I never was ready so I watch you go | 
| Sometimes you just don't know the answer | 
| 'Til someone's on their knees and asks you | 
| "She would've made such a lovely bride | 
| What a shame she's fucked in the head," they said | 
| But you'll find the real thing instead | 
| She'll patch up your tapestry that I shred | 
| And hold your hand while dancing | 
| Never leave you standing | 
| Crestfallen on the landing | 
| With champagne problems | 
| Your mom's ring in your pocket | 
| Her picture in your wallet | 
| You won't remember all my | 
| Champagne problems |