| I was born on a thousand acres of Oklahoma land
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| Nothing grew on the thousand acres for it was gravel and sand
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| One day father started digging in a field
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| Hoping to find some soil
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| He dug and he dug and what do you think?
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| Oil, oil, oil
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| The money rolled in and I rolled out with a fortune piled so high
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| Washington was my destination
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| And now who am I?
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| I’m the chosen party giver
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| For the White House clientele
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| And they know that I deliver
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| What it takes to make 'em jell
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| And in Washington I’m known by one and all
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| As the hostess with the mostes' on the ball
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| They could go to Elsa Maxwell
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| When they had an axe to grind
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| They could always grind their axe well
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| At the parties she designed
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| Now the hatchet grinders all prefer to call
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| On the hostess with the mostes' on the ball
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| I’ve a great big bar and good caviar
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| Yes, the best that can be found
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| And a large amount in my bank account
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| When election time comes 'round
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| If you’re feeling presidential
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| You can make it, yes, indeed
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| There are just three things essential
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| Let me tell you all you need
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| Is an ounce of wisdom and a pound of gall
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| And the hostess with the mostes' on the ball
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| An Ambassador has just reached the shore
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| He’s a man of many loves
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| An important gent from the Orient
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| To be handled with kid gloves
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| He can come and let his hair down
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| Have the best time of his life
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| Even bring his new affair down
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| Introduce her as his wife
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| But she mustn’t leave her panties in the hall
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| For the hostess who’s the hostess with the mostes' on the ball
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| I’ve been highly complimented
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| And I thank you what is more
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| You’ll be damned well represented
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| By your new ambassador
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| For my one ambition is to make them fall
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| For the hostess with the mostes' on the ball
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| In the handbag that I’ll carry
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| There’s a precious little note
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| To their highnesses from Harry
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| Introducing me he wrote:
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| «I'll appreciate a favor large or small
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| For the hostess with the mostes' on the ball»
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| There’ll be no mistakes, I’ve got what it takes
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| To make friends across the sea
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| I’ll make being smart an important part
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| Of my foreign policy
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| I’ll cement our good relations
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| When I give my first affair
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| There’ll be special invitations
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| To the Duke and Duchess there
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| Who’s already written asking them to call
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| Not the priestess with the leastes'
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| But the hostess who’s the hostess with the mostes' on the ball |