| Fat and weak, what a disgrace | 
| Guess the champ got too lazy | 
| Ain’t gonna fly now, he’s just takin' up space | 
| Sold his gloves, threw his eggs down the drain | 
| But he’s no bum, he works down the street | 
| He bought the neighborhood deli | 
| Back on his feet, now he’s choppin' up meat | 
| Come inside, maybe you’ll hear him say | 
| Try the rye or the kaiser | 
| They’re on special tonight | 
| If you want, you can have an appetizer | 
| You might like our silami and the liver’s alright | 
| And they really go well with the rye or the kaiser | 
| Never eats while on the job | 
| He heard it’s good to stay hungry | 
| But he makes a pretty mean shishkabob | 
| Have a taste, they were made fresh today | 
| Try the rye or the kaiser | 
| Or the wheat or the white | 
| Maybe I can suggest an appetizer | 
| Stay away from the tuna, it smells funny tonight | 
| But you just can’t go wrong with the rye or the kaiser | 
| So today, his deli comes first | 
| Steady dreams of his past days of glory | 
| Goes to the back and beats on the liverwurst | 
| All the while you can still hear him say | 
| It’s the rye or the kaiser | 
| It’s the thrill of one bite | 
| Let me please be your catering advisor | 
| If you want substitutions | 
| I won’t put up a fight | 
| You can have your roast beef on the rye or the kaiser | 
| The rye or the kaiser | 
| The rye or the kaiser |