| Once I had a husband |
| You know the sort of chap |
| I met him at a dance |
| And he came on with the chat |
| He said my eyes were deep blue pools |
| My skin as soft as snow |
| He told me I was sexier than Marilyn Monroe |
| And we went dancing |
| We went dancing |
| Then, of course, I found |
| That I was six weeks overdue |
| We got married at the registry |
| An' then we had a do We all had curly salmon sandwiches |
| An' how the ale did flow |
| They said the bride was lovelier than Marilyn Monroe |
| And we went dancing |
| Yes, we went dancing |
| Then the baby came along |
| We called him Darren Wayne |
| Then three months on I found that I was in the club again |
| An' though I still fancied dancing |
| My husband wouldn’t go With a wife he said was twice the size of Marilyn Monroe |
| No more dancing |
| No more dancing |
| By the time I was twenty-five |
| I looked like forty-two |
| With seven hungry mouths to feed |
| And one more nearly due |
| My husband, he walked out on me |
| A month or two ago |
| For a girl they say who looks a bit like Marilyn Monroe |
| And they go dancing |
| They go dancing |
| Yes, they go dancing |
| They go dancing |