| Mungojerrie and Rumpelteazer
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| We’re a notorious couple of cats
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| As knockabout clowns, quick change comedians
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| Tight rope walkers and acrobats
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| They had an extensive reputation
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| They make our home in Victoria Grove
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| That was merely their center of operation
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| For they were incurably given to rove
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| If the area window is found ajar
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| And the basement looked like a field of war
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| If a tile or two came loose on the roof
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| Which presently seems to be waterproof
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| If the drawers were pulled out from the bedroom chests
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| And you couldn’t find one of your winter vests
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| Or after supper one of the girls
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| Suddenly missed her Woolworth pearls
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| Then the family would say, «It's that horrible cat
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| It was Mungojerrie or Rumpelteazer»
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| And most of the time they left it at that
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| Mungojerrie and Rumpelteazer
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| Had an unusual gift of the gab
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| They were highly efficient cat burglars as well
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| And remarkably smart at a smash and grab
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| They make our home in Victoria Grove
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| They had no regular occupation
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| They were plausible fellows who like to engage
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| A friendly policeman in conversation
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| When the family assembles for Sunday dinner
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| Their minds made up that they wouldn’t get thinner
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| On Argentine joint, potatoes and greens
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| Then the cook would appear from behind the scenes
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| And say in a voice that was broken with sorrow
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| «I'm afraid you must wait and have dinner tomorrow
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| The joint has gone from the oven like that»
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| The family will say, «It's that horrible cat
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| It was Mungojerrie or Rumpelteazer»
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| And most of the time they left it at that
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| Mungojerrie and Rumpelteazer
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| Have a wonderful way of working together
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| And some of the time you would say it was luck
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| And some of the time you would say it was weather
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| They go through the house like a hurricane
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| And no sober person could take his oath
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| Was it Mungojerrie or Rumpelteazer?
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| Or could you have sworn that it mightn’t be both?
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| And when you heard a dining room smash
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| Or up from the pantry there came a loud crash
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| Or down from the library came a loud ping
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| From a vase which was commonly said to be Ming
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| Then the family would say, «Now which was which cat?
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| It was Mungojerrie and Rumpelteazer»
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| And there’s nothing at all could be done about that
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| And there’s nothing at all to be done about that |