| You ought to ask Mr. Mistoffelees!
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| The original conjuring cat
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| (There can be no doubt about that)
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| Please, listen to me, and don’t scoff.
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| All his Inventions are off his own bat.
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| The greatest magicians have something to learn
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| From Mister Mistoffelees' conjuring turn
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| And we’ll all say
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| Oh! |
| Well I never was there ever
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| A cat so clever as magical Mr. Mistoffelees
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| He is quiet, he is small, he is black
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| From the ears to the tip of his tail
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| He can creep through the tiniest crack
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| He can walk on the narrowest rail
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| He can pick any card from a pack
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| He is equally cunning with dice
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| He is always deceiving you into believing
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| That he’s only hunting for mice
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| He can play any trick with a cork
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| Or a spoon and a bit of fish paste
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| If you look for a knife or a fork
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| And you think it is merely misplaced
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| You have seen it one moment and then it’s gone!
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| But you find it next week lying on the lawn
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| And we all say
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| Oh! |
| Well I never was there ever
|
| A cat so clever as magical Mr. Mistoffolees
|
| And we all say
|
| Oh! |
| Well I never was there ever
|
| A cat so clever as magical Mr. Mistoffolees
|
| And we all say
|
| Oh! |
| Well I never was there ever
|
| A cat so clever as magical Mr. Mistoffolees
|
| And we all say
|
| Oh! |
| Well I never was there ever
|
| A cat so clever as magical Mr. Mistoffolees
|
| Well! |
| My manner is vague and aloof
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| You would think there was nobody shyer
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| But voice has been heard on the roof
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| When I was curled up by the fire
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| And I’ve sometimes been heard by the fire
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| When I was about on the roof
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| At least they all heard that somebody purred
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| Which is uncontestable proof of my singular magical powers
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| And I’ve known the family to call me in from the garden for hours
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| While I was asleep in the hall
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| And not long ago this phenomenal cat
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| Produced seven kittens right out of a hat
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| And we all say
|
| Oh! |
| Well I never was there ever
|
| A cat so clever as magical Mr. Mistoffolees
|
| Oh! |
| Well I never was there ever
|
| A cat so clever as magical Mr. Mistoffolees
|
| And not long ago this phenomenal cat
|
| Produced seven kittens right out of a hat
|
| And we all say
|
| Oh! |
| Well I never was there ever
|
| A cat so clever as magical Mr. Mistoffolees
|
| Oh! |
| Well I never was there ever
|
| A cat so clever as magical Mr. Mistoffolees
|
| Oh! |
| Well I never was there ever
|
| A cat so clever as magical Mr. Mistoffolees
|
| Oh! |
| Well I never was there ever
|
| A cat so clever as magical Mr. Mistoffolees
|
| Oh! |
| Well I never was there ever
|
| A cat so clever as magical Mr. Mistoffolees
|
| Oh! |
| Well I never was there ever
|
| A cat so clever as magical Mr. Mistoffolees
|
| Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the magical Mr. Mistoffolees |