| Three little unexpected children simultaneously
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| The doctor bought us in you can see
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| That we’ll be three forever and E, I, O
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| You wouldn’t know how agonizing being triplets can be
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| Each one is individually the victim of that clinical day E, I, O
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| Every summer we go away to Baden-Baden-Baden
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| Every winter we come back home to Walla-Walla-Walla
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| We do everything alike, we look alike, we dress alike
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| We walk alike, we talk alike and what is more
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| We hate each other very much
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| We hate our folks
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| We’re sick of jokes about how hard it is to tell us apart
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| If one of us gets the measles
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| Then another one gets the measles
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| Then all of gets the measles and mumps and croup
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| How I wish I had a gun, a little gun
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| It would be fun to shoot the other two and only be one
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| Mrs. Hildendorfer loves to talk to Mrs. Goldenbasser
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| Of the day she went to Sloane’s and had her silly Willy
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| Mrs. Hassencooper loves to talk to Mrs. Eldenspritzel
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| Of her major operation when she had her twins
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| But when mother comes along she silences the others
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| She accomplished something that is very rare in mothers
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| For example just to prove that she was more than ample
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| She admits Lane Bryant thought
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| That they were measuring a giant
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| Dr. Heimerdanner almost lost his bedside manner
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| On the day that he first slipped upon us three
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| We do everything alike, we look alike, we dress alike
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| We walk alike, we talk alike and what is more
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| We hate each other very much
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| We hate our folks
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| We’re sick of jokes on what an art it is to tell us apart
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| We eat the same kind of vittles
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| We drink from the same kind of bottles
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| We sit in the same kind of high chair, high chair, high chair
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| Momma says that we’re a bore and what is more
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| She didn’t want to have us
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| And we didn’t want to have her, no more |