| Raised to be a lady by the golden rule
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| Alice was the spawn of a public school
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| With a double barrel name in the back of her brain
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| And a simple case of 'Mummy-doesn't-love-me' blues
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| Reality, it seems was just a dream
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| She couldn’t get it on with the boys on the scene
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| But what do you expect from a chick who’s just sixteen
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| And hey, hey, hey, you know what I mean
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| All the young girls love Alice
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| «Tender, young Alice», they say
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| Come over and see me Come over and please me Alice, it’s my turn today
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| All the young girls love Alice
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| «Tender, young Alice», they say
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| If I give you my number
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| Will you promise to call me?
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| Wait till my husband’s away
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| Poor little darling with a chip out of her heart
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| It’s like acting in a movie when you got the wrong part
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| Getting your kicks in another girl’s bed
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| And it was only last Tuesday, oh, they found you in the subway dead
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| And who could you call our friends down in Soho
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| One or two middle-aged dykes in a Go-Go
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| And what do you expect from a sixteen year old yo-yo
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| And hey, hey, hey, oh, don’t you know?
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| All the young girls love Alice
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| «Tender, young Alice», they’d say
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| Come over and see me Come over and please me Alice, it’s my turn today
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| All the young girls love Alice
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| «Tender, young Alice», they’d say
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| If I give you my number
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| Will you promise to call me?
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| Wait till my husband’s away |