| THING-FISH:
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| Once upon a time, musta been 'round October, few years back, in one o' dose TOP
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| SECRET LAB-MOTORIES de gubbnint keep stashed away underneath Virginia,
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| an EVIL PRINCE, occasion’ly employed as a part-time THEATRICAL CRITICIZER set
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| to woikin' on a plot fo de systematic GENOCIDICAL REMOVE’LANCE of all unwanted
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| highly-rhythmic individj’lls an' sissy-boys!
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| De cocksucker done whiffed up a secret POTIUM… an' right 'long wid it,
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| de ATROCIOUS IDEA dat what he been boilin' up down deahhhh jes' mights be de
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| FINAL SOLUTIUM to DE WHITE MAIN’S 'BOIDENNN', ef yo' acquire my drift…
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| Well, he were sure he had a GOOD THING GOIN'… but, dere was always de
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| possobility dat somethin' might fuck up, so, he planned to have a little test,
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| jes' to check it all out befo' he dump’t it in de wattuh supply
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| Sho’tly denafter, wit HIGH-LEVEL GUBNINT CO-ROBBERATIUM, he arranged to have a
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| good-will visit to SAN QUENTIM, 'long wit some country-westin mu- zishnin’s,
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| 'n sprinkle a little bit of it on some of de boys in deahhh (since dey done
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| used a few of 'em befo' when dey was messin' wit de ZYPH’LISS)
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| So, heah dey come wit de POTIUM, dump’nit all in de mash potatoes!
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| Den dey wen' up to de warden’s office fo' some HOT TODDY, watchin' a little
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| football while dey’s waitin' to see what gone happen!
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| Fact o' de matter were: NOTHIN' HAPPENED, so dey went off’n dribbled it in a
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| special shipnint of GALOOT CO-LOG-NUH dat went out 'bouts NOVEMBER!
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| Next thing y’know, fagnits be droppin' off like flies…'long wit a large
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| number of severely-tanned individj’lls, pre-zumnably of HAY’CHEN EXTRAKMENT!
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| But NOT DE BOYS IN DE REST HOME! |
| Oh no! |
| Mixin' de shit wit de mash potatoes
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| done SMOOTHED IT OUT a little, so’s it wouldn’t KILL yo' ass, BUT,
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| it sho' would make y’ugly! |
| 'N ef y’was already UGLY, it’d make yo ass MEAN 'n
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| UGLY…'n ef you was already MEAN 'n UGLY, it’d turn ya into a strange,
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| UNKNOWN KREETCHUH, never befo' seen on BROADWAY!^LThass right! |
| It’d turn ya'
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| into a 'MAMMY NUN'! |
| Head like a potato… lips like a duck… big ol' hands,
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| puffin' up! |
| BIG ONES! |
| Science! |
| ME-jev'l re-LIJ-mus costumery all over yo' BODY!
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| Yow! |
| Oh yeah! |
| Mmmm-hmmm! |