| When I was a boy
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| There was no limit on what I could eat
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| Shake after shake after shake after shake
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| Followed by all kinds of red meat
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| Metabolism runnin' around so fast
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| My body never gained no weight
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| That pissed off all my Momma’s friends
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| And made my big-boned sister irate
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| But now I’m a man
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| And all that food frolicking has caused my ego to hurt
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| 'Cause even when I’m in the shower alone
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| I’m too embarrassed to remove my shirt
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| What made a millionaire out of Mr. Frito-Lay
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| Made a fat mother-f**ker outta me
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| What made a millionaire out of Mr. Frito-Lay
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| Made a fat mother-f**ker outta me
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| And all them cookies I been munching lately
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| My feets are becoming difficult to see
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| I believe it was my Daddy
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| Who led to this eating disease
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| By calling me «The Little Candy-ass»
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| When I couldn’t finish a burger with cheese
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| Or maybe it was my Momma
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| Who got me addicted to the wrong foods
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| Only when I gobbled down every chicken cutlet
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| Would I get to see Momma’s good moods
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| They said eat this, they said eat that
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| To stay skinny there was no chance
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| And now when I walk I hear corduroy
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| Even though I ain’t wearing pants
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| What made a millionaire out of Mr. Frito-Lay
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| Made a fat mother-f**ker outta me
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| (You fat f**k, you fat f**k)
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| What made a millionaire out of Mr. Frito-Lay
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| Made a fat mother-f**ker outta me
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| (You fat f**k, you fat f**k)
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| And all that ice cream I been eatin' lately
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| My chins alone weigh 203
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| The diet starts tomorrow!
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| I have a grapefruit for breakfast
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| For lunch a bowl of white rice
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| Dinnertime it’s a saltless potato
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| I ain’t allowed no spice
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| If this diet’s gonna work
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| Tonight I can’t eat no more
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| «Just go to sleep,» I say to myself
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| As I close the bedroom door
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| Two in the morning, I wake up to piss
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| My belly’s hungry and achin'
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| Tiptoe to the kitchen, f**k the diet
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| Bring on the chips flavored with bacon
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| What made a millionaire out of Mr. Frito-Lay
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| Made a fat mother-f**ker outta me
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| What made a millionaire out of Mr. Frito-Lay
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| Make a tub o' shit outta me
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| And all them crumb-cakes I been eating lately
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| I shoulda bought stock in Sara Lee |