| And if one day I should become
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| A singer with a Spanish bum
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| Who sings for women of great virtue
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| I’d sing to them with a guitar
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| I borrowed from a coffee bar
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| Well, what you don’t know doesn’t hurt you
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| My name would be Antonio
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| And all my bridges I would burn
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| And when I gave them some they’d know
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| I’d expect something in return
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| I’d have to get drunk every night
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| And talk about virility
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| With some old grandmother
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| That might be decked out like a Christmas tree
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| And no pink elephant I’d see
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| Though I’d be drunk as I could be
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| Still I would sing my song to me
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| About the time they called me «Jacky»
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| If I could be for only an hour
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| If I could be for an hour every day
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| If I could be for just one little hour
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| Cute in a stupid ass way
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| And if I joined the social whirl
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| Became procurer of young girls
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| Then I could have my own bordellos
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| My record would be number one
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| And I’d sell records by the ton
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| All sung by many other fellows
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| My name would then be handsome Jack
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| And I’d sell boats of opium
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| Whisky that came from Twickenham
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| Authentic queens
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| And phoney virgins
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| I’d have a bank on every finger
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| A finger in every country
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| And every country ruled by me
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| I’d still know where I’d want to be
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| Locked up inside my opium den
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| Surrounded by some china men
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| I’d sing the song that I sang then
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| About the time they called me «Jacky»
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| If I could be for only an hour
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| If I could be for an hour every day
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| If I could be for just one little hour
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| Cute in a stupid ass way
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| Now, tell me, wouldn’t it be nice
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| That if one day in paradise
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| I’d sing for all the ladies up there
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| And they would sing along with me
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| And we be so happy there to be
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| 'Cos down below is really nowhere
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| My name would then be «Jupiter»
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| Then I would know where I was going
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| Become all knowing
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| My beard so very long and flowing
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| If I could play deaf, dumb and blind
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| Because I pitied all mankind
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| And broke my heart to make things right
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| I know that every single night
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| When my angelic work was through
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| The angels and the Devil too
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| Could sing my childhood song to me
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| About the time they called me «Jacky»
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| If I could be for only an hour
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| If I could be for an hour every day
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| If I could be for just one little hour
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| Cute in a stupid ass way |