| Snooker loopy nuts are we |
| Me and him and them and me |
| We’ll show you what we can do |
| With a load of balls and a snooker cue |
| Pot the reds then, screw back |
| For the yellow green brown blue pink and black |
| Snooker loopy nuts are we |
| We’re all snooker loopy |
| Now ol' Milo as we all know’s |
| Got loadsa dappa suits |
| London bred and he keeps his head |
| 'Though he’s got Italian roots |
| Emotional but he keeps his cool |
| 'Til he reaches the finals |
| And whether he wins or whether he don’t |
| 'I always bite me eyeballs' |
| Now our friend Den, hours he spent |
| Down the snooker hall |
| On the old green baize his mates seem amazed |
| At skills with a snooker ball |
| And them long shots, he never ever got |
| Why? The old mind boggles |
| But nowadays he pots the lot |
| 'Cos I wear these goggles' |
| Snooker loopy nuts are we |
| Me and him and them and me |
| We’ll show you what we can do |
| With a load of balls and a snooker cue |
| Pot the reds then, screw back |
| For the yellow green brown blue pink and black |
| Snooker loopy nuts are we |
| We’re all snooker loopy |
| Now Terry the taff was born in a gaff |
| In the valleys of the land of song |
| And as the reds he puts to bed |
| He likes to sing along |
| And if I win he says with a grin |
| It can only help me can’t it |
| I’ll celebrate, I’ll buy another eight |
| 'Hairbrushes for me barnet' |
| Now old Willy Thorne his hair’s all gone |
| And his mates all take the rise |
| His opponent said cover up his head |
| Cos it’s shining in my eyes |
| When the light shines down on his bare crown |
| It’s a cert he’s gonna walk it |
| It’s just not fair giving off that glare |
| 'Perhaps I ought to chalk it' |
| Snooker loopy nuts are we |
| Me and him and them and me |
| We’ll show you what we can do |
| With a load of balls and a snooker cue |
| Pot the reds then, screw back |
| For the yellow green brown blue pink and black |
| Snooker loopy nuts are we |
| We’re all snooker loopy |
| Now Steve last year come very near |
| To winning the snooker crown |
| But he never got to put it on his ginger nut |
| Cos the black ball wouldn’t go down |
| His manager of all said 'Sod that ball' |
| But it helped him make his mind up |
| Now he don’t care who wins this year |
| 'Cos he’s got the rest of us signed up' |
| Snooker loopy nuts are we |
| Me and him and them and me |
| We’ll show you what we can do |
| With a load of balls and a snooker cue |
| Pot the reds then, screw back |
| For the yellow green brown blue pink and black |
| Snooker loopy nuts are we |
| We’re all snooker loopy |
| Snooker loopy nuts are we |
| Me and him and them and me |
| We’ll show you what we can do |
| With a load of balls and a snooker cue |
| Pot the reds then, screw back |
| For the yellow green brown blue pink and black |
| Snooker loopy nuts are we |
| We’re all snooker loopy |
| Snooker loopy nuts are we |
| We’re all snooker loopy |
| Snooker loopy nuts are we… |
| We’re all snooker loopy |