| I know this guy named Richard
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| He’s my red-necked friend
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| He does everything the hard way
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| You see, Rich don’t like to bend
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| He went out for a haircut
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| Get himself a little trim
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| Got hooked up with a beautician
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| And she set out to do him in
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| She knocked Dick in the dirt
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| He said that it didn’t hurt one bit, no
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| She knocked Dick in the dirt
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| He jumped up and then she kissed him where it hurt
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| Now Rich knows girls in England
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| He’s a well traveled man
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| He’s been around the world, you see
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| He’s met some hard demands
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| But, Jane, she knocked him right down
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| Well, he just get right back up, whew
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| Together they have this bond, you see
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| She likes to tie him up
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| She knocked Dick in the dirt
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| Yeah, he said that it didn’t hurt one bit, no
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| She knocked Dick in the dirt
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| Yeah, but then she kissed him where it hurt, ow
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| Now, Rich, he got all junked up
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| Something rubbed him wrong
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| But, Jane, she straightens him out
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| Yeah, it never takes that long
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| 'Cause Rich, he has no conscience
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| He’s of a friendly persuasion
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| And any chance he has to meet someone new
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| He’ll always rise to the occasion
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| She knocked Dick in the dirt
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| He said that it didn’t hurt one bit, no
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| She knocked Dick in the dirt
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| He jumped up and then she kissed him where it hurt, ow
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| She knocked Dick in the dirt
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| He said, oh, it didn’t hurt one bit, no
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| She knocked Dick in the dirt
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| He jumped up and then she kissed him where it hurt
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| Uh, ow |