| ~winding sound~ |
| «Oohh, I like… this… toy! Hmm, watch it go…» |
| ~gunshots~ |
| «Ay! Ah! Ay! Uh!» |
| ~Rrrrrinnnng… rrrrrinnnng~ |
| ~beep beep beep!~ |
| «We're sorry, but the person you are calling is dead.» |
| I was like 6, I used to get dissed by the chicks. |
| And everyone would chase me and hit me with bricks, |
| And rocks and sticks and callin' me names. |
| And fill my lunchbox with frog brains. Ugh! |
| When I left school it was much iller. |
| My daddy was a serial killer, and how about that, |
| He always made me sit in the back, |
| With all his dead bodies in my lap. Move! |
| When I got home, enough of the static, |
| Hammer and tools and up to the attic. |
| Never knew any other girls or boys. |
| Only my toys, toys, toys. |
| Bang, clang, hammer and twist, |
| Nobody knows I exist, and I’m pissed. |
| But I won’t be mentally scarred, |
| Instead I make toys, toys of the graveyard. |
| Monday, Ring of the bell. |
| It’s all about show and tell. Might as well |
| Show all of these bastards just what I got. |
| Yo, check out my toy box. |
| «Nothin' feels better than a good hardy-har-har. Right boys and girls?» |
| We got dead bodies everywhere you look. |
| All the nerds sittin' up front got cooked. |
| Others start screamin' and makin' a dash. |
| So I start handin' out toys fast at last. |
| You like slinkies? We got slinkies. |
| Only mine like to wrap around your face then stretch, twist, consume, |
| And whip your body all over the fuckin' room. |
| So come, one at a time. Open your gift, and what you will find |
| Is a toy my friend, that you’ll never forget. |
| It’s not everyday that you get your skull split. |
| You like soldiers? We got soldiers, made with rubber and steel. |
| They’re not real. But I wouldn’t just leave’em under yo' bed. |
| That’s how you get a axe to the fo' head. |
| Oh, and don’t let 'em sit around all day. |
| Come home and find your mom… dead in the hallway. |
| Cuz they can be nifty, all the toys are shifty (he-he) |
| In my toy box. (huh?) |
| «Woooowie, that sure sounds like fun!» |
| That’s not a toy, hey wait a minute. |
| Don’t fuck around, homie, you could lose an eye with it. |
| That’s my double blade razor whip chop jimmy. |
| And it’s mine motherfucker, so gimme gimme. |
| You like toys? You come to the right place. |
| Try my little toy mutilatin' mental case. |
| Wind 'em up and let him go among alla ya. |
| Then bang! Serial slaughterer! |
| Your turn, reach in and get lucky. |
| Oh look, he pulled out a rubber ducky. (squeaka squeaka) |
| And it make a funny sound, then, |
| Then BANG! Blew the fingers off his fuckin' hand. |
| Don’t stop, class ain’t done yet. |
| I remember you callin' me pointdex', bookworm brainy, |
| My aggrivation went into these little creations. |
| Reach in. You might find somethin' wicked. |
| Wicked scary, chopping pickaderry. |
| Off with your head, a robot with a sword. |
| But now he’s lookin' at me, but what for? |
| «Wa-wait a minute, I made you, get them not me. Wait a minute, |
| motherfuckers!» |
| O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-Oh I love this record…(repeat 5x) |
| Hahahaha, Hoohoohoo! Yahoo! Turn it off! |
| Hahahaha, Hoohoohoo! Yahoo! Turn it off! (2x) |
| O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-Oh I love this record… |
| O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-Oh I love this… «Turn it off!» |
| «Tell me why? Why do you feel that you should still be together with |
| Lisa?» |
| «Sure. Cccc’mon man, our relationship ain’t all weak and shit. Ya know I |
| mean-I mean just because she’s |
| dead we should just break up or somethin'? FUCK THAT!» |
| «Tommy, Tommy, Tommy, listen to me, she’s dead man. You gotta move on.» |
| «So what! So she’s dead. Does that make you fresher than her?» |
| «I don’t think so! So she don’t talk as much… and she really don’t move |
| around a lot. She’s still fresh! She’s |
| still fun to be around! Heheh-heheh. You’re just predjudice!» |
| «Huh?» |
| «You're predjudiced against dead people.» |
| «Aw man, you really are one sick bastard, Tommy.» |
| «Yeah? Fukoof!» |
| «What?» |
| «Fukoof!» |
| «What the fuck is that? What does that mean?» |
| «It means Fukoof!» |
| «Man, you fuckin' lost it.» |
| «Yeah? FUKOOF!» |