| Excuse me, girl
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| I know it’s a bit embarrassing
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| But I just noticed some tan lines on your shirt
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| See, I reckon you’re about an eight or a nine
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| Maybe even nine and a half in four beers' time
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| That blue Topshop top you’ve got on is nice
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| Bit too much fake tan, though, but yeah, you score high
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| But there’s just one little thing that’s really, really
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| Really, really annoying me about you, you see
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| Yeah, yeah, like I said, you are really fit
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| But my gosh, don’t you just know it?
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| I’m not trying to pull you
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| Even though I would like to
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| I think you are really fit
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| You’re fit, but my gosh, don’t you know it?
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| So when I looked at you standing there with your horde
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| I was waiting in the queue, looking at the board
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| Wondering whether to have a burger or chips
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| Or what the shrapnel in my back pocket could afford
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| When I noticed out the corner of my eye
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| Looking toward my direction, your eyes locked on my course
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| I couldn’t concentrate on what I wanted to order
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| Which lost me my place in the queue I waited for, yeah
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| I’m not trying to pull you
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| Even though I would like to
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| I think you are really fit
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| You’re fit, but my gosh, don’t you know it?
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| Whoa! |
| (Leave it out)
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| Are you smoking crack or something? |
| (Leave it out)
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| Mike, just leave it, just leave it
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| We cannot have that behaviour in this establishment (Leave it out)
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| It’s not worth it, Mike, just leave it
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| Don’t touch me
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| It’s not worth it
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| Don’t touch me (Leave it out)
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| Don’t t—look, I’m alright, don’t touch me
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| For a while there I was thinking, yeah, but, what if?
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| Picturing myself pulling with bare white hot wit
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| Snaring you as you were standing there opposite
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| Whether or not you knew it, I swear you didn’t tick
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| And when that bloke in the white behind us lot queuing
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| Was clocking onto you too, yeah, I had to admit
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| That yeah, yeah, you are fit and yeah, I do want it
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| But I stop sharking a minute to get chips and drinks
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| I’m not trying to pull you
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| Even though I would like to
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| I think you are really fit
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| You’re fit, but my gosh, don’t you know it?
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| Now, I bashed my head hard earlier due to the brew
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| But I am digressing slightly, so I’ll continue
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| I didn’t want to bowl over all geezer and rude
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| Not rude like good but just rude like uncouth
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| You girls think you can just flirt and it comes to you
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| Well let me tell you, see, yes, yes, you are really rude
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| And rude as in good, I knew this as you stood and queued
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| But I just did not wanna give this satisfaction to you
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| I’m not trying to pull you
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| Even though I would like to
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| I think you are really fit
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| You’re fit, but my gosh, don’t you know it?
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| And just as you started to make your big advance
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| With the milkshake and that little doughnut in hand
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| I was like, nah, I can’t, even though you look grand
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| But you look sharp there smiling hard suggesting and
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| Gleaming away with your hearty, hearty-looking tan
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| But I admit the next bit was spanner to my plan
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| You walked towards my path but just brushed right past
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| And into the arms of that fucking white shirted man
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| I’m not trying to pull you
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| Even though I would like to
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| I think you are really fit
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| You’re fit, but my gosh, don’t you know it?
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| Oh, what do I give a fuck? |
| I’ve got a girlfriend anyway
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| (Whoa, we’ve all had a drink, mate…)
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| We’re all a bit drunk, we’ve had a few, fair play
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| I got this Stella I bummed from that last cafe
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| This night’s not even begun, yes, yes, oh yay
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| I did fancy you a bit, though, yeah, I must say
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| I would rather I hadn’t mugged myself on display
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| But this is just another case of female stopping play
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| In an otherwise total result of a holiday
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| I’m not trying to pull you
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| Even though I would like to
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| I think you are really fit
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| You’re fit, but my gosh, don’t you know it?
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| You’re fit but you know it
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| You’re fit but you know it
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| You’re fit but you know it
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| I think I’m going to fall over
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| I think I’m going to fall over
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| Fucking hell |