| I never met a lady | 
| Quite as pretty as Melody Dean | 
| And when I laid my head | 
| Down on her heart | 
| It beated out your name | 
| And so I had to listen | 
| To her heartbeat | 
| Several hundred times | 
| And she was very nice about it | 
| Held my hand and didn’t mind | 
| I never put my foot in the same river twice | 
| I don’t like getting wet | 
| You take the good | 
| You take the bad | 
| You take it all | 
| And that is all you get | 
| The fact is you would rather I be lonely | 
| In a bathtub with a book | 
| The fact is you would rather I sat pining | 
| On our pictures from New York | 
| New York, New York, New York | 
| But I get torn to pieces | 
| For the stupidest reasons | 
| All I want’s to love the one I’m with | 
| Just like the song says | 
| I don’t like picking sides | 
| I don’t like sticking | 
| My Cherona in a box | 
| I like to spread her out on different crackers, yeah | 
| I like the way she looks | 
| And when I go to bed at night | 
| With Melody undressing in my head | 
| To get to sleep | 
| You know that I would rather be undressing you instead | 
| Instead, instead, instead | 
| I never met a lady | 
| Quite as pretty as Melody Dean | 
| And even though I know you are | 
| A little bit angry with me | 
| You know that it is you I love | 
| And you I want to get me off | 
| But you can only do that when you’re here | 
| And right now you are not | 
| I never cross the Continental Divide | 
| Without thinking about you | 
| I am a tree that’s carved up with her name | 
| She is a warrior tattoo | 
| And the fact is you’re selective | 
| About what you can remember for a start | 
| The fact is you’re just jealous as all get out | 
| We can do it in the dark | 
| The dark, the dark, the dark | 
| But I get torn to pieces for the stupidest reasons | 
| All I want’s to love the one I’m with | 
| Like Stephen Stills says | 
| I never met a lady | 
| Quite as pretty as Melody Dean | 
| And even though I know you are | 
| A little bit angry with me | 
| You know that it is you I love | 
| And you I want to get me off | 
| But you can only do that when you’re here | 
| And right now you are not |