| FZ:
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| We’ll play you our special number
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| This is the number we always play when, when people ask us to play more.
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| Because we know that after we play this they couldn’t possibly ever want to
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| hear us again
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| Four years ago in Canada—I think it was in Toronto—there was a thing that
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| happened with the symphony orchestra where— There was an American composer
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| named Edgard Varèse, who was quite a spiffy composer. |
| The Americans didn’t give
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| a shit about him, you know, 'cause he was writing stuff that was too weird for
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| their ears
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| But it just so happened he was about 80 years old, and when composers get that
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| old certain segments of the musical population begin to get a conscience about
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| the fact that they never played this man’s music, you know? |
| And he was really
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| writing some heavy stuff but nobody wanted to hear it
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| So Canada decided, «Well, we’re a very cultural nation. |
| We will have a
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| performance of this man’s music.» |
| So they had this Varèse concert.
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| And they bring Mr. Varèse up, you know, doddering old man, here he is,
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| been writing for a long time. |
| And hardly ever gets to hear any of his music
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| and Canada was gonna do him a favor and they’re gonna play some of his tunes
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| for him
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| So they played this one piece that he wrote called Déserts, which is a
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| composition for orchestra, with interpolations of electronic tape, you know,
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| pre-recorded sounds
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| And some of the great Canadian musicians were there, playing in the orchestra.
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| And they hated the music, and they played it really bad. |
| And when the tape
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| sections came in, the musicians on stage sat there and laughed all the way
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| through it. |
| And then the audience started laughing
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| And at the end of the performance Varèse stood up and applauded for the
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| orchestra
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| We’re going to play a piece of music that was written by Edgard Varèse,
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| and we’re going to ruin it for you
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| But you’ll be able to identify with it anyway
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| It consists of the first ten bars or so of a woodwind piece that he wrote
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| called Octandre
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| Goodnight
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| Audience:
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| More! |
| More! |
| More!
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| Announcer:
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| The Mothers Of Invention!
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| Audience:
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| More! |
| More! |
| More! |
| More! |
| More! |
| More! |
| More! |
| More!
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| FZ:
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| Hold it. |
| (Can we play another one? Is it gonna— Will that make a mess?)
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| Guy In The Audience:
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| Suzy Creamcheese!
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| FZ:
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| I must say this is a rather unprecedented response for the bullshit that we do,
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| so sit down. |
| We’ll do some more if you like it |