| We step into the office where
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| The boss sits in an office chair
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| A hundred times a millionaire
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| Swiveling in his underwear
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| And on the lap of luxury
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| Sits some girl from the factory
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| Presented as a Christmas gift
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| They did the business in the lift
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| With his trousers round his ankles
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| And his fingers in the till
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| Everybody loves a scandal
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| And it helps to pay the bills
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| From the ashes of disaster grow
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| The roses of success and so
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| There beneath the mistletoe
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| They caught it all on video
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| And I thought I saw a princess begging
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| From the windows of a Double Decker
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| We all love a royal wedding
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| But a royal divorce is better
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| With their trousers round their ankles
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| And their fingers in the till
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| Everybody loves a scandal
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| And it helps to pay the bills, it’s easy
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| They say
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| If you put a monkey behind a typewriter
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| For about a million years
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| He’ll write the complete works of William Shakespeare
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| And then he’ll tell you a tale
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| Of how his love affair failed
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| With The Princess Of Wales
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| And the Americans will turn it into a mini series
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| With their trousers round their ankles
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| And their fingers in the till
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| Everybody loves a scandal
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| And it helps to pay the bills, it’s easy
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| As D.I.V.O.R.C.E.F.G |