| Eddie, are you kidding?
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| I’ve seen you on my TV
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| Eddie, are you kidding?
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| The people always ask me
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| I saw your double knits
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| I thought they were the pits
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| You threw it in a bag
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| And then you sent me home—
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| What?!
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| Eddie, are you kidding?
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| No, no!
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| Eddie, are you kidding?
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| No, no!
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| Eddie, are you teasing
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| About your rancid garments?
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| Eddie, are you teasing
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| About your sixty tailors?
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| I’m coming over shortly
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| Because I am a portly
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| You promised you could fit me
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| In a fifty dollar suit—
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| Oh
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| Eddie, are you kidding?
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| No, no!
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| Eddie, are you kidding?
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| No, no!
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| Howard: Eddie, my friends ask me, Eddie, Eddie, are you kidding?
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| I wanna tell you something, my friends, I am not kidding. |
| Here at Zachary All
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| we have sixty tailors in the back room. |
| We have the west’s largest selections
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| of portly’s, regulars, longs, extra longs, and cadets. |
| And my friends say to me,
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| «Eddie, Eddie, what do you think of the new Double Knits?»
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| Mark: Eddie, what do you think of the new Double Knits?
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| Howard: And I tell them, I’ll tell you something frankly, my friends—When the
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| new double knits first came out, I was not impressed. |
| But as you can see,
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| these pants I’m wearing are double knit. |
| They stretch in all the right places.
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| They’re the most comfortable. |
| Our model Twiggy here will demonstrate.
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| I have this lovely little Seersucker. |
| .. wait a minute
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| WHERE CAN I GO IN GARDENA?
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| AND WHERE CAN I GO IN L.A.
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| AND WHERE CAN I GO IN ROSEMONT?
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| I NEED SOME THREADS TODAY
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| I need the knits
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| The double knits
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| I need the knits
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| They are the pits
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| I need the knits
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| The double knits
|
| I’m coming over shortly
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| Because I am a portly
|
| You promised you could fit me
|
| In a fifty dollar suit—
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| Whew!
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| Eddie, are you kidding?
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| No, no!
|
| Eddie, are you kidding?
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| No, no!
|
| Eddie, are you kidding?
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| No, no!
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| Eddie, are you kidding me?
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| Eddie, are you kidding me?
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| Eddie, are you kidding me?
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| Howard: No, my friends, I’m not kidding, right here on the Miracle Mile we have
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| the west’s largest selections of. |
| .
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| Portly
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| Regular
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| Cadet
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| Tall
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| And long
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| Howard: And not only that—My brother Jake and Little Emil, and. |
| .
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| Sixty tailors! |