| I had a dream last night I was cast into hell by a jealous God
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| The Devil walked up and said, «You don’t need no lightning rod
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| «It hardly ever rains down here, I can’t recall the last storm
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| «You ain’t gonna need that leather jacket, it gets kinda warm
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| «There's one way in, there’s no way out; |
| it looks like you’re here to stay
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| «Oh, the place is a mess, it’s overcrowded, more are coming in everyday»
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| I said, «Aw man, wait a minute, there’s got to be somethin' wrong
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| «I ain’t a bad guy, I just write these little songs
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| «I always pay my union dues, I don’t stay in the passing lane»
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| And he said, «What about all that whiskey and cocaine?»
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| I said, «Well, yeah, but that’s no reason to throw me in hell
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| «'Cause I didn’t use the cocaine to get high, I just like the way it smells»
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| He said, «Come on over here, son, let me show you around
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| «Over there’s where we put the preachers; |
| I never liked those clowns
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| «They're always blaming me for everything wrong under the sun
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| «It ain’t that hard to do what’s right, it’s just maybe not as much fun
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| «Then they walk around thinkin' they’re better than me and you
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| «And then they get caught in a motel room doin' what they said not to do»
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| «Now all the murderers and the rapists, they go in this fiery lake
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| «As well as most of the politicians and the cops on the take
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| «And all the mothers who wait 'til they get to K-Mart to spank their kids
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| «Instead of showin' 'em what to do what’s right, they just hit 'em for what
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| they did
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| «And all the daddys who run off and abandon their daughters and sons
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| «Oh, anybody who hurts a child is gonna burn until they’re done»
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| «Everyone is down here,» I said, «who's up in heaven with God and the Son?»
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| «Oh, some saints and mystics and students of Metaphysics 101
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| «People who care and share and love and try to do what’s right
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| «Beautiful old souls who read little stories to their babies every night
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| «What you won’t find up in heaven are Christian Coalition right-wing
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| conservatives
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| «Country program directors, and Nashville Record executives»
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| «Now,» I said, «I've made some mistakes, but I’m not as bad as those guys
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| «How can God do this to me? |
| Can’t she sympathize?»
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| He said, «You're wrong about God being cruel and mean
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| «Oh, God is the most loving thing that’s never been seen»
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| I said, «Hot Shot, tell me this: which religion is the truest?»
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| He said, «They're all about the same: Buddha was not a Christian,
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| but Jesus would’ve made a good Buddhist»
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| Well I thought about my future, I didn’t seem to have much of one
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| I looked around to leave but there was no place to run
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| I said, «I don’t suppose I could go back and try livin' again
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| «You know, like reincarnation--I hear that’s the way it’s always been»
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| «I can’t answer that,» he said, «you're gonna have to wait for that response
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| «But it ain’t any more unusual to be born twice than it is to be born once»
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| Well it looked like I was gonna be stuck here, as far as I could tell
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| I thought I might as well suck up; |
| you know, what the hell?
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| I said, «You know that song that Charlie Daniels did?
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| «About how you went down to Georgia and played fiddle against that kid?»
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| He said, «Yeah, it broke my heart but, you know, what’re you gonna do?»
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| I said, «To tell you the truth, I thought your solo was the better of the two»
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| Well, then I woke up and I was lyin' in my bed
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| I ran upstairs and kissed my little boy on his sleepin' head
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| I took this dream as a sign from God, so I thought I’d better pray:
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| I said, «Don't ever speak to me directly, and thanks anyway»
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| Now so much has changed about me besides me just givin' up red meat
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| Some get spiritual 'cause they see the light and some 'cause they feel the heat |