| I was standing on a Des Moines corner one day
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| When this fella said, «You know what Jesus had to say?»
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| I said, «I'm not sure which Jesus you talking about.»
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| He said, «I'm talking about the one that saved my life.»
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| I said, «You can’t mean the Gardner of my ex wife?»
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| He said, «No, I’m talking ‘bout, the only route.»
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| I said, «Look here, what you say?»
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| He said, «I'm talking ‘bout the light and the only way
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| To save your soul from hell and eternal dam-a-nation.»
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| «Are you tellin' me if I don’t believe the way you believe
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| That hell is the final resting place for me?»
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| He said, «Yeah.» |
| I said, «I didn’t realize I was in that bad of a situation!»
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| He said, «Have you read the bible?» |
| I said, «Not all the way through.»
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| He said, «That's something you oughta' do
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| ‘Cause every word is truth and proven fact.»
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| I said,"You take the bible literally?
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| He thought for a moment, and said, «I do really.»
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| I said, «Well I got a problem concerning that.»
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| «Now you take the book Leviticus,
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| Don’t you think that some of those things in there are ridiculous?
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| Like you can stone your kid if he talks back to you.
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| And if your sideburns get too long
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| They can whup on you cause they know that’s wrong
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| You gonna' tell me those are Christian like things to do?
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| Now how about Jonah and the whale?
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| How can you go in the mouth and not come out the tail?
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| That right there has always puzzled me.»
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| He said, «Well you don’t need to be puzzled no more
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| It was a miracle that brought Jonah to the shore
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| The whale spit him out and sailed on out to sea.»
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| I said, «What you think about evolution?»
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| He said, «You're talking ‘bout the evil solution
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| We all come from the garden of eden and it’s sacred soil.»
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| «Well how you explain carbon dating?»
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| «That's scientific heathen mis-information
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| God worked six days and on the seventh day rested from his toil.»
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| «How you know God’s a man?
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| Could be a woman you understand
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| Or a combination of both, what do you think of that?»
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| He laughed and said, «That could never be
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| God’s a he and not a she
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| It’s written in the Bible and everybody knows thats fact.»
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| «Well I’ve heard that Bible’s been changed
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| Because when you translate words sometimes the meanings ain’t the same
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| In fact they even left some of those chapters out
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| And nefarious leaders doing dastardly deeds
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| So what could be maybe ain’t what it seems
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| Don’t you think to a thinking mind that’s got to raise a little doubt?»
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| He said,"My friend you question wrong
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| ‘Cause I’m just here to take you home
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| And brother, I just want to save your soul."
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| «We became brothers and friends real fast
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| Like two ex wives coming together to kick my…
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| I believe its time for this boy to be told.»
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| CHORUS
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| You preach and you can proselytize
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| Tell me how to live my life
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| And it’s all done in your God’s name
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| Now me and God we doing alright
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| By the Golden Rule I try to live my life
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| But zealots like you don’t feel the same
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| Most Christians I know ain’t like you
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| They believe in Jesus and his teachings too
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| But their words heal rather than inflame
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| So somebody get my BB Gun
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| I’m gonna shoot this boy in the bum
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| Because if I shot him in the head, I’d miss his brain
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| «You speak softly but your message is hard
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| Saying your way is the only way to God
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| But I’m here to tell you I don’t agree
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| If we’re all children of God, we’re all brothers
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| How can just your chosen go to heaven and not the others?
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| That kind of thinking just don’t sit right with me
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| What about the native Americans walked here first
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| Saw God in the sky, the rivers and the earth
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| You gonna tell me they ain’t goin' to heaven?
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| He said, «Nope, they shall be denied
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| Because they did not know of the one crucified.»
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| «That makes as much sense to me as two and two is seven.»
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| «I think Jesus was a great prophet, one of the few
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| Come here to speak a simple truth
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| Like respecting others and living by the golden rule
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| But you don’t respect my right to believe
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| The way I hear God speaks to me
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| So the way I see it, there ain’t much Christian in what you do
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| Well this is the end of you and me, ‘cause right now I’m gonna' leave
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| Because conversating with you ain’t nothing but flawed
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| But there’s one thing I want you to know
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| And I’ll tell you before I go
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| I believe an honest prayer will find the ear of God.»
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| CHORUS |