| If you’re traveling with the band and you get to Frankfurt
|
| And there’s an icy feeling there and your feelings can get hurt
|
| We got to the venue and asked the guys, «Is our equipment here?»
|
| And they said, «This is not possible»
|
| We said, «Well, it’s cold outside and it’s raining cats and dogs
|
| Can we at least come inside and eat a Frankfurter hot dog?»
|
| We asked them «Is this at all remotely plausible?»
|
| And they said, «This is not possible»
|
| I said, «But we need to rehearse and a few of these guys just met
|
| We need to get to know each other, and it’s cold outside and it’s wet»
|
| They said, «Hey, we’re not your promoter, he’s on vacation
|
| I’m a bartender, he’s a bouncer and the merch girl’s stuck at the train station»
|
| I say, «Hey, we can roll with this
|
| But could you please be the slightliest bit hospitable?»
|
| They said, «What do you mean, 'roll with this'?
|
| Are you from California, dude?»
|
| We said, «No, we were just wondering
|
| If you could be the slightliest bit more affable?»
|
| And they said, «This is not possible»
|
| So we said, «Fuck you guys, this has been a waste of our time»
|
| And so we headed out of that dreary-ass place
|
| May I suggest a place when you’re jet-lagged as hell?
|
| It’s twenty minutes outside of Frankfurt
|
| It’s called the Romantik Hotel in the suburb of Frankfurt in a place called
|
| Schloss Rettershof
|
| That’s right the Romantik Hotel in Schloss Rettershof
|
| Schloss Rettershof
|
| In Schloss Rettershof
|
| The Romantik Hotel in Schloss Rettershof
|
| There are goats and sheeps and horses outside
|
| And the lady at the desk is very polite
|
| We said, «We know we’re here early but can we possibly
|
| Get into our rooms early, if it’s not too much trouble?»
|
| And she said, «Yes, this is possible»
|
| We go to lunch and the waiter brings three type of salts
|
| And he politely and eloquently describes them all
|
| I said, «Could I possible get a decaffeinated coffee with cream?»
|
| He said, «Americano, espresso, latte, what do you mean?»
|
| I said, «I mean a decaffeinated coffee with cream»
|
| And he said, «Yes, this is possible»
|
| I went to bed, and I was so tired I slept past 9 PM
|
| I went to the front desk and she said, «I'm sorry, you missed your dinner.
|
| The restaurant is closed sleepy man»
|
| I said, «But you don’t understand, I traveled a very long way from the USA
|
| Can you please check with your kitchen and see what they say?»
|
| And the guy from the kitchen came out and said, «Sure, I remember you
|
| You’re the guy who likes the tagliatelle»
|
| I said, «Yeah, that’s me, thanks for remembering, I’m the guy who likes the
|
| tagliatelle»
|
| I said, «Could I please order it again?»
|
| And the chef said, «Yes, this is possible»
|
| I woke up an hour or two late and my band members seemed moderately hostile
|
| I said, «We gotta get to the road to Holland
|
| But I’m hungry, do you mind if I eat as quick as possible?»
|
| They said, «Sure, but we’re late, but I guess your request is totally
|
| reasonable»
|
| And they said to me, «Mark, yes this is possible»
|
| I asked a waiter, «Could I please get a glass of water?»
|
| And he said, «Perhaps you’d like sparkling or a still in a large bottle?»
|
| I said, «Sparkling please, if it’s not too much trouble»
|
| And he said, «Of course not, yes this is possible»
|
| And when we arrived in Utrecht, the hotel was delightful
|
| Not like the one the put us in in Frankfurt, a youth hostel
|
| I asked the front desk, «Could I please get a few extra blankets,
|
| and maybe a pillow?»
|
| And the she said, «Yes, this is possible»
|
| And late at night we went on a hunt for food
|
| The place had many things to choose from
|
| Burgers and shawarmas and falafels
|
| I said, «Can I possibly get some fries and a falafel?»
|
| And the man said, «Yes, this is possible»
|
| And after I ate my falafel my stomach felt awful
|
| I asked the front desk lady if she had some Pepto-Bismol
|
| She said, «Well we have the Dutch version but I have to warn you it tastes very
|
| awful»
|
| I said, «That's no problem. |
| Can I have some, please?»
|
| And she said, «Yes, this is possible»
|
| As they say, «When in Holland, do the like the Dutch»
|
| So I went to the henhouse to feel a hen’s touch
|
| I said, «Could I possibly buy an hour of your time, if it’s not too much |
| trouble?»
|
| And the hen said, «Yes, this is possible»
|
| So the moral of the story is that in the country of Holland
|
| Whatever you ask for, they say «Yes, it’s possible»
|
| But in the city of Frankfurt, whatever you ask for they say «This is not
|
| possible»
|
| But in the city of Rettershof right outside of Frankfurt
|
| There is a peaceful hotel that is amiable and comfortable
|
| I recommend it highly, take your girlfriend there for a week
|
| It’s dreamlike and magical and serene and quaint
|
| Now if Germany calls and says «Would you guys like to come over here and play a
|
| festival?»
|
| I’d say, «Sure, if you could put my band in the Romantik Hotel in Schloss
|
| Rettershof»
|
| But if Germany says, «Well Mark, this is not possible»
|
| Then I’m gonna say, «Sorry, this is not possible»
|
| But if they call and ask me to see if I want to play in Berlin again
|
| Of course I’m gonna say, «Yes, this is possible»
|
| Is it possible that my favorite Lou Reed album is Berlin?
|
| Yes, this is possible
|
| Is it possible that the band Berlin wrote a song called «Sex»
|
| That gave me a raging boner when I was 15?
|
| Yes, this is possible
|
| Is it possible that my favorite Jonathan Richman song is called «Hospital»?
|
| Yes, this is possible
|
| Is it possible that J.D. Salinger wrote my favorite novel?
|
| Yes, this is possible
|
| Is it possible that my favorite meal is chicken and waffles?
|
| This is not possible
|
| Is it possible that the United States President needs to be admitted into a
|
| mental hospital?
|
| Yes, this is possible
|
| Is it possible that I’m singing this song in Berlin in front of thousands of
|
| people tonight?
|
| This is not possible
|
| Is it possible that I’m actually in the studio in the Tenderloin in San
|
| Francisco in the studio singing to Jim on drums, Ramon on guitar, Jeff on bass,
|
| Chris on keyboards, with Nathan behind me engineer and I’m in a vocal booth
|
| Yes, this is possible |