| What do you want from life | 
| To kidnap an heiress | 
| or threaten her with a knife | 
| What do you want from life | 
| To get cable TV | 
| and watch it every night | 
| There you sit | 
| a lump in your chair | 
| Where do you sleep | 
| and what do you wear | 
| when you’re sleeping | 
| What do you want from life | 
| An Indian guru | 
| to show you the inner light | 
| What do you want from life | 
| a meaningless love affair | 
| with a girl that you met tonight | 
| How can you tell when you’re doin' alright | 
| Does your bank account swell | 
| While you’re dreaming at night | 
| How do know when you’re really in love | 
| Do violins play when you’re touching the one | 
| That you’re loving | 
| What do you want from life | 
| Someone to love | 
| and somebody that you can trust | 
| What do you want from life | 
| To try and be happy | 
| while you do the nasty things | 
| you must | 
| Well, you can’t have that, but if you’re an American citizen you are entitled | 
| to: | 
| a heated kidney shaped pool, | 
| a microwave oven--don't watch the food cook, | 
| a Dyna-Gym--I'll personally demonstrate it in the privacy of your own home, | 
| a kingsize Titanic unsinkable Molly Brown waterbed with polybendum, | 
| a foolproof plan and an airtight alibi, | 
| real simulated Indian jewelry, | 
| a Gucci shoetree, | 
| a year’s supply of antibiotics, | 
| a personally autographed picture of Randy Mantooth | 
| and Bob Dylan’s new unlisted phone number, | 
| a beautifully restored 3rd Reich swizzle stick, | 
| Rosemary’s baby, | 
| a dream date in kneepads with Paul Williams, | 
| a new Matador, | 
| a new mastadon, | 
| a Maverick, | 
| a Mustang, | 
| a Montego, | 
| a Merc Montclair, | 
| a Mark IV, | 
| a meteor, | 
| a Mercedes, | 
| an MG, | 
| or a Malibu, | 
| a Mort Moriarty, | 
| a Maserati, | 
| a Mac truck, | 
| a Mazda, | 
| a new Monza, | 
| or a moped, | 
| a Winnebago--Hell, a herd of Winnebago’s we’re giving 'em away, | 
| or how about a McCulloch chainsaw, | 
| a Las Vegas wedding, | 
| a Mexican divorce, | 
| a solid gold Kama Sutra coffee pot, | 
| or a baby’s arm holding an apple? |