| They call me Uncle L, Future of the Funk
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| Records I recorded minus all the junk
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| People spread gossip and believe what they must
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| while I slam dunk and make em bite the dust
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| A minute is needed to make a phony roni bleed
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| and put him in a bucket like it’s chicken feed
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| Check out the — pick of the litter, not a quitter, I’m nice y’all
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| and I’ma dust you off and dust you off twice
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| You never heard this so observant all hysterical fan-
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| -natics of the Asiatic miracle man
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| Prominent, dominant, McCoy and I’m Real
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| If you’re another brother’s fan? |
| Forget how you feel
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| cause he’s so-so, I got the instinct
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| They call me Deputy Dog, now put your in the clink
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| Innovating, devestating, and dope on the single now
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| let me see your earrings jingle
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| I chopped you, chewed you, baked you and you
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| That you pop, you need to stop, you’re kind of rude you
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| no good tryin to base
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| How we livin Holmes? |
| Get out my face!
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| I’m complete, in effect, and I can’t fall
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| I rise, suprise, and I advise you all
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| to stand back and peep, don’t sleep or doubt
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| My skill’ll get ill, I turn the mother out
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| I’m top-notch, you’re still playin hop-scotch
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| Now I’ma do ya while the party people watch
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| You’re real funny, you really try to go for yours
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| But I know why: you ain’t had no dough before
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| So you tried and lied to drain my fame
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| This ain’t a game, yo, you know my name
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| Forget all the MC’s who like to mingle
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| Yo baby, let me see your earrings jingle
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| When you first walked in, I ain’t know what to think
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| You grabbed the microphone like your don’t stink
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| And tried to run down that; |
| I can’t get over that
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| you were sayin — you call that a battle rap?
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| How you gonna go against an army with a handgun?
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| I’m Cool J, yo you don’t understand, son
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| I’m a legend, on top of that I’m livin
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| Now you look stupid like that Ms. Givens
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| Whoever geesed you up; |
| nah, how should I say it?
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| Whoever set you up, they knew just how to play it Cause man, YO, I feel for you brother
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| I’m a baaaaaad… (Word to my mother!)
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| Takin out suckers while the ladies pucker
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| and rollin over like a redneck trucker
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| Innovatin, devastatin, and dope on a single, now
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| Lemme see your earrings jingle
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| Yeah baby, you know what I mean?
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| You like be jinglin crazy, word
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| (yeah yeah yeah)
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| All over this funky beat
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| You be like jinglin, and your earrings be jinglin
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| and shakin all over the place and all (mm-hmm)
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| It’s like real, it’s real wild to me honey yaknahwhatImean?
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| The way you be jinglin, worrrrrrd
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| Can’t believe you tried to grip the same mic as me Your grip’s too weak, you can’t hold it, B You can dream of makin progress and gettin this nice
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| but when I roll up, it’s like Hip Hop Vice
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| I serve to curbs, I never swerve I’m superb
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| Every word you heard played tricks on your nerves
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| You played your hand, lost track of your plan
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| When I show up, I blow up, end of story, my man
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| I’m a play you like a poker chip, that’s what you get
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| I bet your fret, sweat, and regret you met
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| the titan of fightin, excitin when writin, you triflin toy-boy
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| I gotta enlighten, so start bitin
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| You know you can’t create and get mean like this
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| when I’m on the court, G, it’s strictly SWISSSSHHHH!
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| When it’s all over, said and done, my friend
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| they say, «That just scored again»
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| So take a step back, give me some room to wreck shop
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| Here’s your token back, you’re gettin off at the next stop
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| I’ma deliver and give a speech with vigor
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| I drink some Olde E and start waxin |