| You pointed out the fence, it was leaning towards the neighbor’s house
|
| The waterlogged firewood from the last few winters had become one with the fence
|
| The mold holding it all together, the weight of the wood
|
| The wind blowing in its direction
|
| The rain pouring down the hill was too much for the fence
|
| A few years earlier, I had an old tree chopped down
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| That was leaning towards the house to protect the roof and for firewood
|
| And now I’ve got twenty yards of fence to rebuild
|
| I started bringing the heavy wet logs into the back area
|
| Into what I referred to as the Dungeon Area, two or so at a time
|
| The doc said I need more exercises, I said, «What kind of exercises?»
|
| She said, «It doesn’t matter, any kind»
|
| I figured I have to get some of it out of the way
|
| To help whoever I’d hire to repair the fence
|
| I was breaking out with sweat
|
| When a neighbor appeared out of nowhere and said, «How's it going, neighbor?»
|
| Why did he have to build a house on that empty lot
|
| With tall oaks and pines and sequoias there?
|
| Year after year, the grass would grow so tall and get so dry
|
| That the property was a borderline fire hazard
|
| I called a real estate agent and offered to buy that plot of land
|
| But the owner never accepted my offer
|
| I want to maintain my privacy, the house was so enchanting
|
| Set back in all the trees I’d bought the house for curb appeal and seclusion
|
| The signs on the street that said Deer Crossing
|
| And I went out there one day and the trees in the lot were chopped down
|
| Then I went out there another day and foundation was built
|
| And now there’s a house next door and a neighbor guy I never met
|
| Until just now when he said, «Hey, how are you doing?»
|
| I said, «I'm okay, thanks"and then I walked back into the Dungeon
|
| I dropped the logs I was holding on the cement floor and closed the door behind
|
| me
|
| I came back into the house through the Dungeon from another door into the
|
| kitchen
|
| And said, «This is not how I wanted to spend my fucking day»
|
| Drenched with sweat, I got an iced tea from the fridge
|
| And walked up to the highest point in my yard
|
| And sat in the sun next to my hot tub
|
| To remind myself why I bought the home in the first place
|
| I looked off at the pines off in the foothills and called my friend
|
| She told me about a strange Chinese restaurant in North Canton, Ohio
|
| A five year old girl was discovered in a freezer, murdered by her mother
|
| Her mom got 22 years, the father of her child got a life sentence for
|
| influencing
|
| And manipulating the mother into being the abusive mother she’d become
|
| My friend also said a dead body was discovered on 8th Street in Massillon
|
| Not far from my father’s home
|
| She said the police got a tip, found the body buried six feet deep (Six feet
|
| deep)
|
| And they also discovered three neglected kids in the house
|
| All of them under three years old (Under three years old)
|
| Unaccompanied by adults and a neglected dog in the basement (In the basement)
|
| I came back into the house and did what I came here to do
|
| Dove into my 2017 expenses
|
| You were watching news upstairs (You were watching news upstairs)
|
| A coyote was walking around with a jar on his head, suffocating (With a jar on
|
| his head)
|
| Someone had some footage of him roaming around (Roaming around)
|
| The newscaster said (The newscaster said)
|
| «Keep a lookout for him"but they estimated he had 48 hours to live (48 hours to
|
| live)
|
| I can’t take too much of the news anymore, political things are toxic enough
|
| Then there’s news of dead children, coyotes suffocating
|
| And neglected dogs without food or water and basements
|
| So we switched channels
|
| There was a band on TV, I’d never seen them before
|
| To my recollection, there were 12 people pushing buttons in stationary positions
|
| The singer sounded like an even simpler Simple Minds, if that’s possible
|
| But I could pretty much watch anybody perform, to be honest
|
| One of my favorite performers is Jimmy Swaggart
|
| I could watch him sing gospels all day
|
| But anyhow, after Psalm 4, the silver staff band
|
| He said, «Please change this, I can’t take it anymore, this sounds like Tears |
| for Fears»
|
| I thought about texting a friend about how depressed I was by this band
|
| By I didn’t feel like the back and forth that could potentially happen
|
| At 51, you got to call your shots
|
| On how your prioritize your time and your back and forths
|
| Then I spent the day working, doing more things for my house
|
| The neverending fix-up that my mom said I’ll be working on until the day that I
|
| die
|
| The Money Pit, is the chimney guy calling?
|
| The first guy to ever enter my home to do repair on my house
|
| It’s always something, always
|
| At 10 P.M., you said you smelled a skunk («I smell a skunk»)
|
| And you were right, the odor got more intense
|
| I took a piss outside to see if I could smell the skunk and I didn’t
|
| While I was taking a piss, I looked up at the moon
|
| And my god it was beautiful (I looked up at the moon)
|
| And it smelled like pine (Smelled like pine)
|
| All my headaches went away for just that moment in time (Moment in time)
|
| I came back inside and told you
|
| I couldn’t smell the skunk outside («I can’t smell the skunk outside»)
|
| But how powerful the scent was when I came back in through the dining room
|
| I walked up into the master bedroom and the smell was even worse up there
|
| You’d been on the internet researching and decided it was not a skunk
|
| But a gas leak into the house that was going to explode
|
| You said, «Put your jacket on fast and take a few things
|
| And don’t do anything to cause sparks»
|
| I said, «I have nothing on me that would cause anything to make sparks»
|
| You said it again, you said, «Don't do anything to make sparks»
|
| I said, «I don’t smoke cigarettes or have any matches
|
| Or anything at all to make any fucking sparks»
|
| You said, «Well, if you do have anything to make any kind of friction,
|
| it could cause sparks»
|
| And at that point, I kept my mouth shut
|
| I followed you along down the stairs
|
| I said, «Whatever you need from me, whatever you need
|
| Just let me know what you need»
|
| We took the battery powered lantern from the porch
|
| And I walked around the house and proved to you
|
| That there are no gas lines coming into my home
|
| I know this home like the back of my hand
|
| You finally calmed down, and I was upset that we had missed Saturday Night Live
|
| We came back in, and you told me
|
| To look around the big old spooky house for the skunk
|
| It was 1:30 in the morning, I said, «What the fuck am I going to do if I find a
|
| skunk?
|
| I’m not a skunk catcher, you want me to go into the basement
|
| And see if there’s a skunk down there, that’s where you think he is?
|
| Sorry, but I wouldn’t even know what to do if I cornered a skunk»
|
| I said to you, «Look, here’s the deal, we’re leaving tomorrow
|
| Who knows how long it’s gonna be until we’re back here?
|
| The skunk is a welcome guest in my home
|
| This is my home and I got taxes to work on
|
| And I don’t want to talk about the skunk anymore»
|
| She said, «Calm down, Mark»
|
| That you’ve been researching more and that skunks were foragers
|
| And I said, «What does 'forager' mean?»
|
| You said, «They don’t stay in one spot long»
|
| And I said, «Well there you go, he’ll be gone within the next few days
|
| Problem solved, the skunk problem is resolved»
|
| We were exhausted, we considered leaving but it was late out there
|
| We went to bed, the smell of skunk in the air
|
| I was up until 3 o’clock in the morning, reading A Confederacy of Dunces
|
| Tired of all the bickering we’ve been through
|
| We tend to have this bickering way about us
|
| On these fast «Quick, let’s go check on the house"visits
|
| I woke up at 6 o’clock in the morning
|
| My heart was racing, I couldn’t fall back asleep
|
| So I woke you up and we walked into town
|
| I got a bagel, you got an iced coffee and I got an iced tea
|
| We came back and did the usual routines
|
| Locked up the house, shut off the water
|
| Left money for the maid, turned on the alarm system, and set the thermostat
|
| And I took photos of the early blooming daffodils and sent them to my friend
|
| I sat at the top of the hill again, taking in the sun again
|
| And trying to remember why I ever bought this house in the first place again
|
| A hummingbird was buzzing around me by the bamboo |
| Smoke was coming out of the chimneys
|
| I don’t understand myself
|
| I spend the first 18 years of my life trying to get out of a 3 bedroom house
|
| With a yard full of sticks and squirrels
|
| And way later in life, I ended up buying a 3 bedroom house
|
| With a yard full of sticks and squirrels
|
| You were in the kitchen, dehydrating vegetables
|
| With the dehydrator your father gave you
|
| I walked down the hill, my back hurting, into the living room door
|
| You said, «I'm done dehydrating vegetables, I’m packed and ready to go»
|
| It was still the faint smell of skunk lingering in the house
|
| It was Super Bowl Sunday and the traffic going back to San Francisco was hell
|
| You dropped me off at my place, and I’ve known you long enough to know
|
| That look on your face that says «I don’t want to see you for a couple of days»
|
| So I left you alone, cleaned my apartment, made my bed
|
| Opened some windows, cleaned my hardwood floors
|
| And I dumped the bag of 2017 paperwork on the living room floor
|
| You sent me a text, «Yay, they rescued the coyote
|
| And got the jar off his head, he survived» |