| The app has got a box where you kneel
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| Tell it all your secrets, and reveal
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| Your evil thoughts about sex and such
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| The real reason you skipped lunch
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| There’s a widget in the box that hides and nods
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| And swears the whole thing is for the ears of God
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| But human ears if they burn
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| Take secrets and pass them on
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| It takes in information, prints out prayers
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| And issues absolution, fair’s fair
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| You get less time in purgatory
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| More for things you really need
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| It’s a Catholic app, there’s lots off bounds
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| A thousand sins, ten commands
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| The app needs to know, time and again
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| What’s going on in everyone’s brain
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| You don’t buy them, they sell you
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| For who knows what to who knows who
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| I hear the government, the big G
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| Is stocking up on Hail Marys
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| I’ve got the terms of service that nobody reads
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| They’ve got the right to send you for eternity
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| To a torture convention they call Hell
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| In the basement of the Bosch hotel
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| The app is free, but you give them a donation
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| In a little velvet pouch they put in circulation
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| In virtual hangs also known
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| As churches and cathedrals made of stone
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| It works on any platform, night, day
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| You download free, nothing to pay
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| Spyware, sure, but some say
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| Privacy’s a big lie anyway
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| Conspiracy theories are a load of crap
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| But they’re whispering your secrets down in the apse
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| There seems to be a leak in the back end
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| Or a mole with a lot of friends
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| There’s a big story breaking, the priest is a freak
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| The app is really l’eglise catholique
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| But I don’t buy it, the whole thing’s fake
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| Someone somewhere must have made a mistake
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| God’s a paper tiger, that’s all crap
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| They’re controlling populations with that app
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| Knowledge may be power, but you gave away your best
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| To a man in a purple stole and a dress
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| It’s a Catholic app, it knows no bounds
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| A billion sins, ten commands
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| But there’s a big glitch that drives me wild
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| The app can have sex with your child |