| In a magical land, in a magical town
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| Santa and his magic elves are hanging around
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| Building magical toys for boys and girls
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| To deliver to the world and bring Christmas joy
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| The reindeer and snug in their snow-covered stable
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| While Santa puts turkey on the dinner table
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| But a mile away, huddled in the snow
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| Gary sits scared as the arctic winds blow
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| Alone, on his own, forgotten and lost
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| Surviving on roots and the permafrost
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| Dreams of joining Santa’s team filled Gary’s head
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| And he’d walk by the stable when they had all gone to bed
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| He’d tap on the glass, the reindeer would laugh
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| Cutting Gary’s self-esteem painfully in half
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| He was Rudolph’s half-brother, unplanned, unwanted
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| By his father’s indiscretions he would be forever haunted
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| Gary the Green-Nosed Reindeer (reindeer)
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| Was of unexpected birth
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| But one year he saved Christmas
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| And he proved to them his worth
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| All of the other reindeer (reindeer)
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| Used to laugh and make him cry
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| They never let poor Gary (Gary)
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| Fly with them up in the sky
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| In a big dark castle on the other side of town
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| Osama Bin Laden was wearing a frown
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| With a bat on his shoulder, decked in a black cape
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| He devised a new plan to make America shake
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| He said, «I'll destroy Christmas, here’s what I’ll do:
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| I’ll kidnap poor Rudolph, it’s 9/11 part two
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| The West will quake when their holiday is gone
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| Then I’ll rule the world, like my name was Exxon»
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| He snuck into the stable, so he could steal
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| Rudolph and he left in his Jihad Mobile
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| Santa found out the news and he said «Oh, dear
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| Rudolph’s gone, there will be no Christmas this year!»
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| The elves began to cry and the sky turned gray
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| But Gary heard the sobs walking by that day
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| He shared Rudolph’s DNA and had something to say
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| He said «I can guide your sleigh and make everything okay.»
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| Santa said, «Who are you?»
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| Gary said, «I'm Rudolph’s half brother
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| You can tell 'cause my nose is green, instead of red!»
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| Santa said, «Whatever, just put on this harness.»
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| So then one happy Christmas Eve
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| Santa came to say, say (say)
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| «Gary, with your nose so green
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| Won’t you guide my Christmas sleigh?»
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| Then all the reindeer loved him (loved him)
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| And they shouted out «hurray!» |
| (hurray)
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| Gary the Green-Nosed Reindeer (reindeer)
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| Thanks for saving Christmas Day
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| And the toys were delivered across the world
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| Bringing Christmas joy to every boy and girl
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| Osama was fed up and let Rudolph go
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| And the brothers reunited in the north pole snow
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| Rudolph said, «Hey Gary, I’m sorry we laughed
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| And left you forgotten, like president Taft
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| We know it made you cry, we’re sorry we were mean
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| We’d like you to join our reindeer team»
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| And that is how Christmas got its colors
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| From the red and green noses of the reindeer brothers
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| You may see them flying high on Christmas Eve
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| Bringing gifts to little kids like Stacy and Steve
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| And Dennis and Cindy and Claire and Louise
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| Playstation 2s and Green Day CDs
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| But nada for Osama as they say in Espanol
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| No GameCubes in his stocking, now Santa brings him coal
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| Gary the Green-Nosed Reindeer (reindeer)
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| Was of unexpected birth
|
| But one year he saved Christmas
|
| And he proved to them his worth
|
| All of the other reindeer (reindeer)
|
| Used to laugh and make him cry
|
| They never let poor Gary (Gary)
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| Fly with them up in the sky
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| So then one happy Christmas Eve
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| Santa came to say, say (say)
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| «Gary, with your nose so green
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| Won’t you guide my Christmas sleigh?»
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| Then all the reindeer loved him (loved him)
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| And they shouted out «Hurray!» |
| (hurray)
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| Gary the Green-Nosed Reindeer (reindeer)
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| Thanks for saving Christmas Day |