| I chose to believe every word I was fed
|
| And I thought the coals on my back were a product
|
| Of the lack you left when you stepped back
|
| And racked your brain for a reason to stay,
|
| But you could not seem to formulate any such thought in your head.
|
| So you left with nothing more than a reason you kept silent
|
| And my mind would riot stuck in self-perpetuated mental violence
|
| And dreams kept private.
|
| The ambition to fix this wish list of selfish misfit realist missions
|
| Contained within a vision of wishful thinking
|
| And sinking deep into a new bit of
|
| Misproportioned emotions leaking through a seeping truth
|
| Constructed by my need to feel important
|
| When you would look back and think
|
| Of all the little things that you regret.
|
| I just wanted you to think of me when you think back
|
| To all those little things that you regret.
|
| I spent so much time convincing myself that the rest of this mess
|
| That I stressed within this relationship was a product of the world’s
|
| oppressions,
|
| Not my deep desire to be needed.
|
| And it’s hard to admit but I guess I’ve come to terms with the fact
|
| That I just want to be needed,
|
| And I convinced myself that I needed to be needed.
|
| And if that was true, I would still be smiling
|
| Like you still today but for different reasons.
|
| I chose to dismiss the possible instance
|
| That the lips I love to kiss could form the words goodbye
|
| And it was a simple lie but I told it to you
|
| And like the captain of a sinking ship choosing to believe
|
| The bottom of the ocean was a better source of oxygen.
|
| It’s so nice and I still chose to believe I misinterpreted your dialect
|
| And everything you said about it.
|
| Your diction, your diatribe, posture, body language and connotations,
|
| All pointed in the same direction
|
| The selection of contingent messages postponed until further notice
|
| Because I was ashamed to admit the problem
|
| And pretend your happiness came from me
|
| And that your happiness was important.
|
| But we aborted the sorted truths we once distorted
|
| When I saw the shape of your dress when you wore it.
|
| And that was enough until it wasn’t
|
| And that’s when you finally felt supported.
|
| So the others courted you and you mentally recorded
|
| And endorsed the force perform of compliments you received came in
|
| And you felt empowered enough to take your final bow
|
| And find love within the arms of another instead of this heart of mine.
|
| And that’s fine because I would do the same,
|
| And I would leave me. |
| Not because I’m useless
|
| And not because I’m broken.
|
| Not because I’m sad and not because I’m worthless.
|
| But because I saw value in your smile but not in your values,
|
| And I’m sorry, and I love you.
|
| And that’s why I can finally sleep at night,
|
| Because you are free and you can thrive,
|
| And I’m just happy I got to be a part of your life.
|
| I’m just happy I got to be a part of the journey
|
| That you call your life.
|
| And I finally feel fine because I spent so long trying
|
| To change you, not realizing I was the one who needed to change.
|
| I was selfish to assume you loved me more than you love yourself
|
| Even though I never felt the same. |
| And there’s so many things
|
| That my selfishness tried to take away but you were the one
|
| That was the hardest to watch walk away.
|
| But thank you for letting me be a part of everything
|
| You were building and creating and finding truth and life
|
| And you were relating so much beauty, and I love you, and I’m sorry.
|
| Thank you for letting me be a part of your journey.
|
| Thank you for letting me be me.
|
| And thank you for setting me free
|
| And showing me love in its full capacity.
|
| Thank you for letting me be a part of your journey. |
| Thank you for letting me be
|
| me. |
| Thank you for setting me free and showing me love in its full capacity. |