| Do do-de-do do do do-de-do
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| Do do-de-do do
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| Yeah
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| The other morning I was crawlin' home
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| Made it about halfway across the lawn
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| Just paused beneath the begonias there to rest my hands and knees
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| Mindin' my own business laying there in the snow
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| When my wife walks out says she’d like to know
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| What I thought I was doin' in the shrubbery
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| At a quarter past three
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| I said, «Honey, I’d love to tell you
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| But I’m sworn to secrecy! |
| Yeah!
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| It’s got something to do with night maneuvers
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| And national security! |
| Heh heh!»
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| Well, then I watched her swell up like a toad
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| And put both hands on her hips
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| Then squinched up those little beady eyes
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| And pooched out that bottom lip
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| And I knew that I was
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| Back in the doghouse again!
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| Sleepin' with my flea-covered friend
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| Oh, move it over Rover!
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| Looks like I’m movin' in!
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| Back in the doghouse again!
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| Do do-de-do do do do-de-do
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| Do do-de-do do
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| So I told that woman
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| «You know what’s wrong with you?
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| You never think of the good things I do!
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| Like how I leave my dirty clothes all spread out on the floor there so easy to
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| see?
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| Yeah, you know how you worry about gettin' fat?
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| Ain’t I always there to help you out with that?
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| Well, how many times have you heard me say
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| 'Better slow down Porky, looks like you’re puttin' on a few pounds to me! |
| Heh'
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| Yeah, and the night you changed that flat tire, didn’t I stand there and hold
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| the light?
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| And you want to make a big fuss about me comin' in a little late at night? |
| Huh!»
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| Well, I must’ve said somethin' wrong
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| 'Cause she put both hands on her hips
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| And then she rolled her eyes, and stamped her foot
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| And pooched out that bottom lip
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| And heaven only knows why, but I was
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| Back in the doghouse again!
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| Yeah, I spent more time in there than Rin Tin Tin!
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| Yeah, I keep on tryin' to please her
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| But then I do somethin' dumb and then
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| It’s back in the doghouse again!
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| Move over there boy and let me in there
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| Whew! |
| Boy, have you got Alpo breath tonight!
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| Gotta get you some of them chlorophyll dog biscuits!
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| Chase cars? |
| Naw, I don’t wanna chase cars again tonight
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| Remember what happened last time? |
| We caught one!
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| Yeah, almost killed me! |
| Ran over me twice!
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| Pass me that bone there, would’ya? |