| I met her at the Star Wars convention
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| did I mention, she was looking for love?
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| Had to call her bluff, lady you don’t mean how that sounded
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| (that thousand-pound dude in the «no fat chicks» shirt’s astounded)
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| thought she’d take it back, revoke, rewind, rescind, retract.
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| «Ya heard me,» she said, «I'll take any man here
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| to descend to the cave where you conquer the fear
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| and I’ll steer you to side of the force you choose.
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| Somebody’s man enough here — now who?»
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| This girl, you have to understand,
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| would not look out of place on the arm of an attractive man.
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| So the geeks in attendance got jaws on the floor. | 
| One extends his
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| saber but he tripped on his cloak. | 
| I stepped to the front then I spoke
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| «I ain’t spittin' game, look I got a Wookiee hat on,
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| but these guys here are used to gettin' spat on
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| by girls, see you put 'em in shock.
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| And this ain’t the right con' to quote Mister Spock
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| but it’s highly illogical to me.»
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| Girl looked me in the eye, said «Is your mind free?»
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| 'cause I’ve got somethin' for you
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| it is shiny, it is clean.
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| Come on up and I’ll adore you
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| with my yellow laser beam.
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| Sittin' in the room upstairs,
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| watchin' her wind up the buns in her hair
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| I declare that I’d like to be Luke,
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| unless that’s a bit too perverted for you.
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| Well, I could be Jabba, a Jawa, an Ewok, when we talk «Oo la ga blee bla!»
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| Wait — I’ve seen all the flicks, all the books that I read,
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| I don’t recall any character tied to the bed
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| but that’s all right,
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| I’m 'a just pretend that I’m encased in carbonite.
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| Why that’s a nice gold bikini, you make that?
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| Shows off what you got, no mistake.
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| That’s one fine view of Chewbacca you’re givin' me
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| lower that down here, we’ll be living the
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| linguistic lifestyle of the protocol droid.
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| (Then comes the part where I’m not overjoyed.)
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| «Fire!» | 
| she said, and before I could scream
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| got a steaming mouth full of yellow laser beam.
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| 'cause I’ve got somethin' for you
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| it is shiny, it is clean.
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| Come on up and I’ll adore you
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| with my yellow laser beam.
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| 'cause I’ve got somethin' for you
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| it is shiny, it is clean.
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| Come on up and I’ll adore you
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| with my yellow laser beam. |