| He’s been trying with limited success
 | 
| To get this girl to let him get into her dress
 | 
| But every time he thinks he’s getting close
 | 
| She threatens death before he gets a chance
 | 
| And that’s the way it is in Minnesota
 | 
| And that’s the way it is in Oklahoma
 | 
| That’s the way it’s been since protozoa
 | 
| First climbed onto the shores of California
 | 
| And she’s been trying with limited success
 | 
| To get him to turn out the lights and dance
 | 
| Cause like any girl all she really wants
 | 
| That fickle little bitch romance
 | 
| That fickle little bitch romance
 | 
| And that is why a girl is called a tease
 | 
| And that is why a guy is called a sleaze
 | 
| And that’s why god made escort agencies
 | 
| One life to live and mace and GHB
 | 
| And that’s the way it is in Minnesota
 | 
| And that’s the way it is in Oklahoma
 | 
| That’s the way since the animals and noah
 | 
| First climbed onto the shores of California
 | 
| Must not be too kind
 | 
| Stop thinking love is blind
 | 
| Clench your fists yeah write
 | 
| «she's just not my type…»
 | 
| Why all these conflicting specifications
 | 
| Maybe to prevent overpopulation
 | 
| All I know is that all around the nation
 | 
| The girls are crying and the boys are masturbating
 | 
| And that’s the way it is in Minnesota
 | 
| And that’s the way it is in Oklahoma
 | 
| That’s the way Aristophanes and homer
 | 
| Wrote the Iliad and Lysistrata (not in that order…)
 | 
| And that’s the way it is in Minnesota
 | 
| And that’s the way it is in Oklahoma
 | 
| That’s the way it’s been since protozoa
 | 
| First climbed onto the shores of California |