| My dad taught me 'bout | 
| The story 'bout the birds and the bees | 
| When the bees turn into wasps and take half of everything | 
| He sounded sure, that a bird doesn’t need a full nest | 
| But a bed for our bird heads to rest | 
| He told me son you’ll never dunk (WHAT?) | 
| Its family tradition basketball is not for us | 
| Our legs just aren’t that springy | 
| My great-great-uncle almost did but he didn’t | 
| He told me son beware, of the monsters | 
| That roam the depths of your head | 
| Sometimes they’ll make you real sad or | 
| Or real, real mad, or real, real jealous and | 
| That’s real, real bad, boy breathe | 
| Nicotine until you fall asleep like all of our family | 
| Breathe! | 
| Nicotine until you fall asleep | 
| Like, all of our family, like all of our family | 
| I’m the new Will Smith, I’m | 
| I’m, Will Smith mixed with Michael Cera | 
| I’m Will Smith, Michael Cera | 
| Kevin Spacey, Michael Cera man | 
| My father’s married to a shape-shifting monster | 
| Who can sometimes take the form | 
| Of a really really really nice woman | 
| And although it seems super fucking frightening | 
| Sometimes this scary monster makes | 
| A really really great vanilla pudding, he has courage | 
| But sometimes your courage isn’t quite the kryptonite | 
| As the monster runs rampant through the house | 
| Sometimes your courage makes you feel strong | 
| But it seems as if the monster eats your muscles all along | 
| Fucking pickin' out your self-respect right out its scary teeth | 
| Her breath smells like pride of self | 
| And other men she used to meet | 
| And the monster doesn’t sleep | 
| It just schemes and fiends | 
| On the next tasty meal it gets to eat | 
| It gets to eat | 
| It gets to eat | 
| I’m the new Will Smith | 
| I’m mixed with Kevin Spacey | 
| I’m the new Will Smith | 
| Kevin Spacey | 
| Michael Cera, man | 
| Oh | 
| (What the fuck?) (oh) | 
| (W-w-what the fuck?) (oh) | 
| What the fuck? | 
| Oh |